She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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