..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
