I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Holy shit dude........stairs
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
