there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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