and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
