That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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