She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I think your dad took our porno
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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