honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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