I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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