literally had 100 drinks last night.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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