At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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