Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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