I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
