U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
