I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
