what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
