Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
birth control should be required to get into college
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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