I'm gonna have a badass scar
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
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we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
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Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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