You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize