Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
