Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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