can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
