Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
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I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
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Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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