It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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