He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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