i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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