Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Are we still banned from the library?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
