I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
