I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
