I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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