i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
