He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
