Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
