i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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