piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
