my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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