I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
