It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
We talked him into tasing himself.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
