she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize