can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
