This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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