on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
