What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize