He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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