i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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