Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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