if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
