Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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