i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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