is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
