I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I came so hard my ears popped.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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