did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Can you bring me the toilet please
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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