I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
It's never too late to be topless.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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