Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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