I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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